Scars of Love

When I was a kid, I always had bruised knees and scabby shins. There was hardly a moment in my childhood when I was not bleeding or bruised from playing too hard with my friends. Usually, I was taking one too many hits on the two-touch football field and ending up on the ground only to get right back up, dust myself off, and do it all over again. We all did this. We all sacrificed our knees and shins and elbows for the game because we had no fear of getting hurt, no fear of bleeding out, no fear of ending up with an ugly scar. Kids are fearless little creatures who are not afraid of making the same mistake over and over-- never lacking a dull moment and never having a boring story to tell. Kids are innocently proud, never afraid or embarrassed to show off a scar and always insisting to tell the story of how each and every imperfect mark on their bodies came to be. It is a beautiful thing.

But as we grow older, some of us grow out of this longing to share our scars and the stories behind the imperfections. Whether the cause is pride or embarrassment, the result is the same. We end up disguising parts of ourselves, ashamed of the imperfect little creature who we pretend was never even a thing of our past, and whose story is always someone else’s to tell.

Now I know you’re probably thinking this is one of those “body image” talks and I am going to tell you how empowering it is to embrace your scars, to love your love handles, to not apologize for the way you are, but to be proud of your body because God made you exactly the way you are supposed to be. But if you are looking for a pep talk or a motivational speech, you can stop reading and keep scrolling down your Facebook feed.

I want to talk about Jesus. Jesus said to his disciples after he was resurrected from the dead, “Peace be with you,” and he showed his scars where his hands had been nailed to the cross and where his side had been pierced to confirm his death (John 20:19-20). I find it interesting that after Jesus was raised from the dead and appeared in his resurrected body, he still had scars. But why? If Jesus is completely healed—alive and well and fit and perfect after being resurrected from the dead--and if Jesus is exactly how he will be for the rest of eternity, why does he still have scars? And if Jesus still lives with the scars of his past, are we not expected to do the same?

Here is what I believe I can conclude: Just because we may be completely healed does not mean that we won’t live with the scars that remind us of what we went through, what we felt, and what it means to love.

I believe that loving others hurts. I believe that loving others leaves a scar on us. I believe that loving others isn’t something that we should be embarrassed about or too proud to do. I believe that we shouldn’t try to disguise the evidence that we have loved and that it has left an imperfect mark on us. I believe that love scars are a beautiful thing. And I believe that we should be more like the kids we use to be—with permanently bruised knees and scabby shins, and a relentless desire to share the stories behind our scars of love.

And I hope that I will live without the fear of getting hurt or bleeding out because I want to come out on the other side with a few scars to prove that I didn’t just sit on the sidelines and watch love make its mark on everyone else.

I hope you do too.

-Cal

Long story short: had stitches, got them out, ripped it back opened playing football: more stitches. 

Pictured: 4 scars- three from knee surgery, one from two-touch football in 4th grade