God's Renewing Hope

Everyone has those times in their lives when they're not really sure why they're living. For some people, this may only last a day, but for others, it could last weeks, months, or years. You know what I'm talking about, right? That feeling of, "I don't even know why God bothered with making all of these stupid people anyway." Well for me, I had one of these stages just a few months ago. 

It was the end of my first semester of college and I was struggling. I felt hopeless, like my life had no purpose. We went to Florida for Christmas, but during that week (especially the first part), I was a little depressed. Not like I was physically going to close myself off in a room and sit in darkness, but mentally that is how I felt. Nothing really made me excited about life. I was looking forward to going to Ukraine for a week after Christmas, but after than, then what? I was searching for the meaning of life and not getting far. I was desiring something more than just living for myself every day. I wasn’t connecting with the hope that God has promised his followers.

“Hope that is deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12).

On Christmas Eve, my family and I visited my grandma’s friend Maryanne who is having treatment for her bone cancer.  When we got there, they greeted us very warmly. I knew going to their house that night that they would have a piano (and a really nice one at that). So after we had been inside, the piano subject came up and my grandma started bragging about how I played the piano, and of course, they asked me to play a song. I hadn’t played in a few weeks, so I was happy to touch a piano again. After a while of playing and singing, Maryanne’s daughter told me that her stepfather’s son used to play the piano. He had died from a car wreck years ago and they usually hired a professional piano player to come play during the holidays, but because of the chemo, they couldn’t afford it this year. She told me that I had no idea the gift I just gave their family by playing. This conversation gave me a new insight and perspective.

First, I knew that it made me feel really great to make someone else happy. It brings me more joy to see others happy than it does to try and make myself happy.

Second, I realized that God gave everyone gifts and that if we keep those gifts all to ourselves, then they aren’t being used for their purpose. They are called “gifts” for a reason; they are meant to be shared.

The next week I was on a plane crossing the Atlantic Ocean on my way to Ukraine with about 12 other people who are now very close to my heart. In Ukraine, we did a camp for kids who live in poverty and whose parents neglect them and are alcoholics and/or abusive. It was during the holidays, so it was a time when their parents would be drunk and they would be unloved and in bad situations. The camp got the kids out of their homes and into a place where they could let go, relax, be themselves, learn about God, and be loved on. I learned a lot from these kids the 4 days we were with them.

1.  Everyone just wants to be loved. That is all these kids wanted. They didn’t particularly care about gifts or physical things. In fact, most of the kids only had 1 change of clothes (if that) for the whole 4 days. These kids just wanted someone to notice them, play with them, and comfort them. If you really think about it, isn’t that what everyone really wants.
2. It is so much more fulfilling to give up your life for a greater cause than to use it for your own selfish reasons.  Being with these kids and having no Internet for 3 days really made me realize that if you don’t live in the moment, you miss things. It is so much more fulfilling if you give your whole self to a cause and not just part of yourself.
3. The meaning of life is to show other people God’s love. This happens when you live in the moment and take advantage of the time you have with the people present around you.
4. With God, there are no boundaries to the good that we can do. No language barrier or cultural or racial difference can keep God’s people from loving anyone.

After the camp we went to visit Kiev. The city and country is basically in the middle of a revolution, so when we went, we were in the midst of a huge protest with barricade and the whole shebang. A revolution is defined as a dramatic and wide reaching change in the way something works or is organized, or in people’s ideas about it. It seemed like while the revolution was happening in Ukraine, I was experiencing a revolution within myself. God changed the way that I look at life. He taught me that using my life for other’s benefit is the only way to live. Isn’t that what is what Jesus did? There is no other option in my mind, because if I don’t live for God’s kingdom, then why live at all? It would be pointless. I would live EVERY DAY with that feeling of despair and hopelessness that I was experiencing before. No one should live life without the hope that we, as Christians, have in God.

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you” (Psalm 39:7).

If you’re feeling lost and useless with no purpose in your life, try doing something for someone else. And “Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14). You’ll be surprised how much joy it will bring you if you selflessly love others.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).